A while back I came across this little excerpt from a Housekeeping Monthly article posted in May 1955 *.
Now my feminist inner voice was screaming on the top of its lungs at first glance at this sexist drivel. I picked my jaw up off the floor at the thought that this was once the norm. I instantly realized per these standards I am the worst housewife in history.
*After some internet digging I have found that this may be a pure fabrication to romanticize the sexism of the past. This is either reassuring or disturbing- which I’m not sure. Reassuring that this didn’t actually exist or disturbing that I believed it could have.
Regardless, upon rereading this bullet list of how to make your husband happy I realized that there are a few nuggets of information listed here that if practiced equally to each other could make for a pretty harmonious marriage.
A list that we both could use that I wouldn’t want to light on fire might look like this…
- Have dinner at least considered. If it’s cereal so be it. Make reservations or PB&J. Wine is also acceptable.
- Take care of yourself. Once upon a time you found each other pretty sexy. Keep yourself up for each other. Letting yourself go is only going to make you both miserable and at risk for diabetes or depression.
- Put away your phone and pay attention to one another for a bit. Talk about something other than the grocery list and who is going to take the kid to swimming later. You married each other because you actually used to like talking. Do it.
- Clean up a little. Clutter is stressful to everyone. No one wants to have to try and find the kids missing school shirt, still dirty, under a foot tall pile of laundry. At least put stuff in corners. Vacuuming is totally optional (always).
- Light a candle. It will mask the poopy-diaper smell in the air and your house will instantly seem cleaner.
- Make sure the kids are de-stickified if possible, if not, strip them to diapers and call it a day.
- Be happy to see him/her. Try your best not to hand children over and bolt.
- Give each other space if needed. Everyone’s brains are about to explode so quiet is welcomed.
- Try to make your home a place of comfort, minimize screaming to a dull roar after 7:30, muzzle children if necessary.
- Try not to bitch at each other immediately. Be nice and complain over texts while he’s/she’s at work like normal people.
- Have friends. See them at times. Not as a couple. You are individuals and you’re allowed to have a girls/guys night occasionally.
- After 4PM sweatpants are completely acceptable and necessary for all parties.
- A good partner knows never to skip ahead during a Netflix binge.
This list is at least moderately attainable.
Now I know the most controversial of all of my list will be #2. For good reason- this however is what I think that this fictional or non-fictional list from 1955 got right. My husband and I take keeping ourselves up somewhat seriously. Him more than I. He actually goes to the gym. I’m more of the like maybe 2-times a week walk type. Hey, I try to color my hair every once while too so I’ve got that to offer.
More for myself than for him because I, like most women, become an insufferable bitch when I feel bad about myself (whether or not I say I “like my curves”).
My husband has much less hair than when I first met him. I have greys. I have a few stretch marks and wrinkles and all sorts of things I have no control over. I color my hair. I wear my makeup. I care what I look like and I even though I know that my husband would still love me 100 lbs. heavier and with a head full of silver locks, I know that I wouldn’t feel good and it would affect us both.
*Now as a feminist I know this is a total self-imposed misery (taught to me by years of sexist, objectifying of women) I still like to look pretty- so shoot me. To all those women who feel sexy and empowered at any size, shape, hair color, etc.- I salute you. I feel better with make up on. I feel sexy when I feel strong.
So we do things to keep ourselves up for each other. We both work out, we both try to eat right (most of the time). We also however both drink a little too much coffee and maybe more wine than we should sometimes. We both realized our teeth weren’t as white as they used to be preparing for a wedding Mark was in last month. Mark also recently gave up the disgusting chewing tobacco habit he’s had since college so his stains were even more serious. We had a plan to whiten (well I had a plan to make Mark whiten with me).
Luckily I got an an email from Smile Brilliant on my way to Target to buy whitening toothpaste and strips and anything else that could make my teeth look more movie star and less chain-smoking-diner-waitress.
Smile Brilliant sent Mark and I two kits to try as well as compensation. Although this post is sponsored, all opinions are my own.
Honestly, I have had so much trouble with whitening in the past that I was really skeptical. I have extremely sensitive teeth and I’ve tried everything to get the results I wanted. I tried all those Pinterest home concoctions, tried swishing with straight hydrogen peroxide- I do not suggest this. It’s foamy and terrible.
I tried everything for to whiten my sensitive teeth. I brushed with sensitivity toothpaste for months before whitening using the strips that killed regardless. I just dealt with the pain for my wedding pictures. I’d tough it out as long as I could and rip the strips off my teeth like they were made of acid since that’s what it felt like. For months it felt like my teeth were going to fall out. Wedding pictures came out nice but the process sucked.
Smile Brilliant sends you this cool little teeth whitening kit so that you can make custom trays- a welcome from those slimy paper films that used to get stuck on my gums.
These trays are the same thing you’d get from your dentist. But unlike dentist teeth whitening you don’t have to schedule an appointment, pay for the visit and the impressions and wait. You actually make your own custom impressions with the little putty provided and mail them to the company who sends you back these little clear trays. They remind me of my retainers that are probably somewhere in my mother’s basement right now.
I loved it. Making the molds was a fun little art project because its fun to mix and it fulfilled all my dental hygienist dreams. I helped Mark and his came out great. Mine were a little off so they immediately sent it back, with more putty and instructed me how to get a better tray. I couldn’t be happier with their prompt return and help (I didn’t bite down hard enough in the back on the bottom tray). They’re really committed to getting you a well-fitted tray. Also all the postage is paid for which to me is key since getting to a post office with two toddlers is about as fun my last experience with whitening strips.
The process after you get your trays is pretty simple.
Brush your teeth with just water and dry, put a strip of whitening gel on the trays, keep it on for 45 min to up to 3 hours. I was so scared initially I kept it on just the minimum but after a few uses I realized I had kept it in through two and a half Shameless episodes without a problem!
After whitening, brush as normal, rinse out the trays and put the desensitizing gel on the trays, leave those suckers on for 15-20 minutes. I’d do all this before bed. You don’t wipe your teeth and let that stay on overnight. It’s amazing how well this stuff works. I ended up not even needing it the last couple of times I whitened.
It’s pretty crazy how white my teeth are now compared to before. Mark’s too. I seriously think professional teeth whitening wouldn’t be better.
If you want to see someone better looking than me show you how it works go here…https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aOBB-n6HLAs
Just an FYI- I sort of freaked out after one of the first whitening sessions because with the first whitening I noticed white spots on my teeth immediately after. They went away after brushing and were just the beginning of my years of stains being busted through. It wasn’t noticeable by morning but I didn’t expect it!
This is another great article describing a few things to know before whitening…https://www.smilebrilliant.com/articles/7-things-to-know-before-buying-teeth-whitening
Smile Brilliant’s home teeth whitening kit has changed how I whiten and lucky for you, you can enter to win one of your own…ENTER HERE!
If you don’t happen to be the lucky winner, use my code “onpurpose5” at checkout to get 5% off your purchase price!
Those housewives from the ’50s had a few things right. Men are simple creatures. Husbands will always be happy with a warm meal made by their sexy lady. This 2017 mama just knows ladies are just as easily pleased.
Do you keep yourself up for yourself and your significant other? Should it matter?
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